Weymouth
April 30, 1764
Dear Lysander
Your Friendly Epistle reach'd me a fryday morning, it came like an Infernal Mesenger, thro fire and
Brimstone, Yet it brought me tidings of great joy. With gratitude may this
month be ever rememberd by Diana. You have been peculiarly favourd, and may be numberd with
those who have had the distemper lightest. What would I give that I was as
well thro it. I thank you for your offerd Service, but you know that I am not permitted to
enjoy the benifit of it.
Yesterday the Dr. returnd to our no small Satisfaction. I think there is
but one person upon Earth, the Sight of whom would have more rejoiced me. But
"not Sight alone would please." It would therefore be adviseable to keep at an
unseeable distance till any approach would not endanger.
I was yesterday at the Meeting of a Gentleman and his Lady.Cloathe [s] all shifted now no
danger -- and no fear. A how do ye, and a how do ye, was exchanged between
them, a Smile, and a good naturd look. Upon my word I
believe they were glad to see each other. A tender meeting. I was affected with
it. And thought whether Lysander, under like
circumstances could thus coldly meet his Diana, and
whether Diana could with no more Emotion
receive Lysander. What think you. I dare answer for a
different meeting on her part were She under no restraint. When may that
meeting
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be? Hear you have sent for your Horse, the Doctor tells me
that you rode out a friday, do not venture abroad too soon, very bad winds for
invalids
tho I hear you stand it like an oak. -- O by the way you have not told
me that insinuation to my disadvantage which you promised me. Now methinks I
see you
criticizeing -- What upon Earth is the
Girl after. Where is the
connexion between my
standing the distemper like an oak, and an insinuation to her disadvantage? --
Why I did not expect that a short sighted mortal would comprehend it, it was a
Complex Idea if I may so express myself. And in my mind there was a great
connexion. I will show you how it came about. "I did
expect this purgation of
Lysander would have set us
on a level and have
renderd him a Sociable
creature, but Ill Luck, he stands it like an oak, and is as haughty as ever."
Now mentioning one part of this
Sentance, brought
to mind the accusation of haughtiness, and your faults naturally lead me to
think of my own. But here look yee. I have more than insinuations against you.
"An intolerable
forbiding expecting Silence,
which lays such a restraint upon but moderate Modesty that
tis imposible for a Stranger to be tranquil in your
presence." What say you to that charge? Deny it not, for by experience I know
it to be true. Yes to this day I feel a greater restraint in your Company, than
in that of
allmost any other person on Earth, but
thought I had reasons by myself to account for it, and
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knew not that
others were affected in the same manner till a late complaint was
enterd against you. Is there any thing austere in your
countanance? Indeed I cannot recollect any thing. Yet when I have been most
pained I have throughly studied it, but never could discover one trace of the
severe. Must it not then be something in
Behaviour,
(ask
Silvia, (not
Arpasia for these are not her complaints) what it
is) else why should not I feel as great restraint when I write. But to go on,
"Why did he read Grandison, the very reverse in practice. Sir Charles
call'd forth every one's excellencies, but never was a
thought born in
Lysanders presence." Unsociable
Being, is
an other charge. Bid a Lady hold her Tongue when she was
tenderly
inquireing after your wellfare, why that
sounds like want of Breeding. It looks not like
Lysander for it wears the face of ingratitude. -- I expect
you [to] clear up these matters, without being in the least saucy.
As to the charge of Haughtiness I am certain that is a mistake, for if I
know any thing of Lysander, he has as little of that
in his disposition, as he has of Ill nature. But for Saucyness no Mortal can match him, no not even
His Diana
N.B. Remember me to Silvia and Myra.
Shall I hear from you by Mr. Ayers. If not do not fail
writing by the Doctor who will be in Town a thursday. If he brings a letter suppose he will smoke it
too, you understand me.
Yours unfeignedly,
A Smith