Diary of Charles Francis Adams, volume 4

Tuesday. 18th.

Thursday. 20th.

Wednesday. 19th. CFA Wednesday. 19th. CFA
Wednesday. 19th.

Fine morning although somewhat colder than it has been. I went to the Office. Nothing particular. My spirits somewhat depressed. It is 424my wish to do something in the world, not to be a creature entirely useless. I have laboured a good deal and what has been the success? Little indeed in comparison. Yet is it not for me to be discouraged? I will bear up as well as I can under a species of ostracism which exiles me by negatives. My services are not wanted. The world can get along exactly as well if I do nothing. Perhaps better as there would be one less to crowd it. But this tone is incorrect. So long as I am placed in it, I must not reject my duty, because others do so. It is essential to me that my conscience should be clear.

I read Lingard, finishing the reign of James which does on the whole, reconcile me to continuing the book. Walk as usual. Afternoon, began No. 9 of my work, wrote a page and then read Villemain. Not worth a sixpence. I continued in the evening however, as my Wife had gone out to tea. I went for her at nine to Mrs. Gorham’s. Miss Julia and Miss Carter, besides Mrs. Gorham and the young men. On my return, read German. I work slowly.