This morning I read my Geography and Bacon for the last time
for a week or ten days, as the house is about to be turned topsy turvy for that time. Monsieur was moved from his Library and Study up into John’s sitting room. For his room was converted into a ball room. The pillars were put up to day as it was thought necessary to prop the house. Twelve of them were put up. And Madame set us all busily to work making wreaths. I also went to Georgetown in the carriage to day with Mary, myself to get some Money, a draft for which had been given me by Mrs. Clark1
when I set out. Mary went on some business for Madame. We stopped also at the Flower Warehouse where I gave some directions for John.2
We returned very soon after quite a pleasant ride although I am obliged to be amazingly cautious in my conduct towards her. The relatives I perceive watch me so closely now that I am always forced to keep a certain level. If in either too high or too low spirits for any time in her presence, it is set down immediately as a relapse. She has some alluring ways which are apt to make every man forget myself, but she is not what she was, and I have had too hard a trial to think of ever wishing to endure the same. George too, but fortunately (for indeed I cannot help thinking so) he is not with us, would be in a perfect fever and sickness if he was to imagine that she had encouraged me in the least as he would certainly.3
Our connection however was long since thoroughly broken off and we have been mutually guarded ever since.4
Mr. Fuller came, and talked to me about invitations and the Lord knows what, all which I referred to Madame. Thus went the day.