Browsing: Diary of Charles Francis Adams, Volume 1

Attended Prayers and recitation in Topography. A very remarkable thing indeed after a meeting of the Knights, as I do not recollect doing such a thing before for a very great while. I have however of late been so exceedingly regular that I am desirous of forming a habit. I find that one miss leads on to another until one gets very much out of his reckoning. I have already indulged too much this quarter. The exertion also after all is not exceedingly great and there is a satisfaction in having done properly which compensates for the trouble. This over, I went to College to see if any thing was going on, found nothing particular except that rooms in Holworthy1 had been distributed to our class, this was not materially interesting to me as I had not applied for one. Dwight obtained a very good one. The day was a rainy one, and after a few minutes at the Bookstore, I went and took a bath—the heat and exertion of yesterday having given me that unpleasant feeling of [distress?] which arises from great perspiration. This over I returned to my room but felt so languid and fatigued from want of sleep, that I could do nothing so that I went to sleep until dinner time. I tried to read a little of Mitford and Plutarch but when I found my• {p. 256} self sleeping over the book, I very wisely concluded it would do me no good to read so.

Wheatland came up today and moved his furniture, he appears in good health and in a pleasant, quiet state of spirits. I am more happy to see him so than an inmate of the house. I forgot to mention that Walley had declined coming here since he had been given to understand the sentiment of the house. I am glad he has declined, but I am really sorry for the way we have taken, for he must certainly have felt very severely, the treatment he has experienced from us. It was open and direct insult. It was a thing which would have made me suffer most intolerably, and I do not think that in this case, he has deserved it. We all confess we know nothing about the man’s character, and after the fashion of the College, we abuse him, and will probably ruin his character. I know too well the injurious effects of this course of conduct, to be willing myself to doom a man to the fate of my first prejudice without the slightest pretence to impartiality. I think it is the worst fault of College young men.

After dinner, I employed some of the afternoon in writing my Journal, it hangs exceedingly upon the hands and I am more afraid of my resolution for it, than I ever have been. Perseverance however is my motto and with it I hope to succeed. My duty done, I went over and paid Brenan, a visit of half an hour. We began conversing upon the usual subject, the differences existing in College. He was elected a member of the Porcellians at a Meeting last Night or at least in the afternoon and in his own true spirit declined. He is certainly the most singular man I have met with for a long while. With pride sufficient to fight a host, he has no idea of being subjected to the caprices of a pack of self constituted judges of character. I admire his conduct although I do not think I should have imitated it. Mr. Cenas gained his admission yesterday, a man who never would have got in, had I been a member, or had the club existed as it did some little time since.2 The society has not taken a more proper step than this to injure itself in public estimation. I have become of late exceedingly interested in the politics of the lower class as I wish to countermine all the working of a scandalously arrogant party with inferior means in the Sophomore class. Brenan is a good fellow, very impartial or at least as far as he can be. And I think when he makes an attachment, he is fully sensible of it’s value. I was talking very earnestly with him when his chum and Richardson came in which entirely broke it up. We talked afterwards much in the usual way.

I attended Prayers and then after tea took a pleasant walk with {p. 257} Billy Dwight as I call him very foolishly. We had an unusual conversation concerning future prospects and I sounded his feelings more on the subject of his own intention than I ever have yet. His mind is by no means made up and he has not that fixed, settled ambition which I once thought he possessed. He is a young man of remarkable mind, strong, sensible, acute and though carried off by very violent passions, I like his feelings the more for it. I returned and after some silly conversation at Richardson’s I went to bed. X:30.