Morning at the Office, occupied in reading Law. Nothing of any consequence occurred. Dined at Mr. Frothingham’s. Why is it that
I should be more than fully tried? I detest these family affairs among “my wife’s relations.” This is the plain sense of my feelings. I am tried1
of going about to people’s houses as a pensioner, and I am tried of trying to be intimate where the difference of manners and feelings and character is such as to prevent the possibility of it. If this is to be a perpetuity, it is a curse, and I shall have eminent reason to repent my marriage. I hope this will not be the result. I love Abby dearly for herself alone, and I do not wish to marry her family. Had I seen her here, instead of at Washington where she was alone, I think I never should have had courage to pierce this Army. Evening, reading Pelham. My head ached, because out of complaisance I drank too much wine. Pleasant conversation with George.