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Browsing: Diary of Charles Francis Adams, Volume 2


Docno: ADMS-13-02-02-0005-0005-0007

Author: CFA
Date: 1829-05-07

Thursday 7th.

Morning at the Office. Nothing very remarkable occurred. I was engaged much of the time in making my arrangements for my other { 374 } room. I also went down to see Abby who was in town and wanted me to go out. But I did not feel as if I could while I was liable to receive letters in my absence. My spirits were better but still a great pressure constantly exists. Afternoon reading Clarendon. The weather very pleasant. I did receive two letters this evening. One from my father and one from John.1 They are a little encouraging as to the effect upon my Mother. She bears it better as yet than I had hoped. But the first shock is not all. John’s letter is kind and reminds me of the additional obligations which fall upon us, a circumstance of which I have already thought not a little. My will is good, and I trust to Heaven for it’s watchful guidance and protection, to allow me to perform all which it is my duty to do. And I now feel a strong desire to live which I never had before, and which also adds more terror to my despairing moments. But these shall not in future be so numerous.
1. “We are in great distress,” JQA reported; “but I write to inform you that the first shock of this heavy dispensation of Providence is past, and that your mother and myself, relying on him who chastiseth in Mercy, still look for consolation in the affectionate kindness of our remaining Sons” (JQA to CFA, 3 May 1829, Adams Papers). The letter from JA2 is missing.