Browsing: Diary of Charles Francis Adams, Volume 2

Morning at the Office. Nothing very remarkable occurred. I was engaged much of the time in making my arrangements for my other {p. 374} room. I also went down to see Abby who was in town and wanted me to go out. But I did not feel as if I could while I was liable to receive letters in my absence. My spirits were better but still a great pressure constantly exists. Afternoon reading Clarendon. The weather very pleasant. I did receive two letters this evening. One from my father and one from John.1 They are a little encouraging as to the effect upon my Mother. She bears it better as yet than I had hoped. But the first shock is not all. John’s letter is kind and reminds me of the additional obligations which fall upon us, a circumstance of which I have already thought not a little. My will is good, and I trust to Heaven for it’s watchful guidance and protection, to allow me to perform all which it is my duty to do. And I now feel a strong desire to live which I never had before, and which also adds more terror to my despairing moments. But these shall not in future be so numerous.