Arose, day extremely warm, indeed the three last have been as hot as any part of the summer. We feel it the more too, as it so immediately follows extremely cold weather for the season. I did nothing this morning from languor and as my mother was going to Boston, I determined to take advantage of the conveyance to go as far as Neponset. I played billiards here for a great while but with less relish than usual. My feelings within these two days past have become extremely irritable and my nerves very weak. I do not know how it arose, but I
spoke snappishly to the family and was surly. It is exceedingly unpleasant to be conscious that you are disagreable and not be able to avoid it. Suffice it to say that I became tired of billiards much sooner than I have any other day since I have been here.
I therefore directed my course home at a little after three having lost my dinner. The walk was exceedingly hot, the sun being in his power yet. I met my father and uncle going to the Governor’s1
to dine, my father appeared to be surprised. I found a surprising difference in myself today and other days, I was weak and very much fatigued at what usually is nothing at all. Indeed I was obliged to rest once and lie down before I got home. Having arrived I found myself in no condition to do any thing so I neglected the writing of my Journal today. My head throbbed painfully and my nerves were in such a state that my arms and feet shook when taken from their support. Indeed I have seldom felt more uncomfortably. I tried to take a little quiet but the children put my rest to flight once or twice, and excited my nerves as much as ever. I did manage however in the course of the Evening to become more composed, although I had to act with some feverish symptoms. Indeed I became somewhat alarmed being afraid I should have an attack similar to the one two years ago.
I sat with my Grandfather all the Evening. He asked me some questions concerning the match between George and Mary, he hardly seems satisfied with it, as I believe he had fixed his heart on a connexion with the Quincys. A thing which would receive more opposition on our part. My mother did not return until near nine and the rest of the family dropped in at intervals. I retired soon, took warm water for my feet and tried to sleep but I could not succeed. IX.