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Browsing: Diary of Charles Francis Adams, Volume 2


Docno: ADMS-13-02-02-0004-0011-0004

Author: CFA
Date: 1828-11-04

Tuesday. 4th.

Arose early in the morning and commenced my preparations for { 303 } my removal. Made all my arrangements previous to the arrival of the Mail waiting only to see if any letter from Abby would change my decision. One arrived which instead of changing confirmed it. I therefore packed my trunk in the afternoon and had time also to take a ride with my mother, calling upon my Aunt Frye to take my leave. She was not at home. On my return my Father called upon me and asked me into his room. When he gave me a sum of money for my travelling expenses and made me also a gift of two shares in the Middlesex Canal Company.1 This was meant as kindness, and I received it as well as I could, but nothing like this can efface the effect of the conversation of last August.2 It burns like a rankling sore; it is destined to have a material influence upon my futurity, for it cut me in the most agonized spot. But as my father, I must still respect him and though he has misunderstood me most fatally, I shall not cease to perform my duties with only a less willing heart. Evening with the family.
1. The shares were worth about $250 each. See CFA, “A Paper on the Middlesex Canal,” 7 Feb. 1829, in his Composition Book, Adams Papers, Microfilms, Reel No. 315.
2. See entry for 22 Aug., above.

Docno: ADMS-13-02-02-0004-0011-0005

Author: CFA
Date: 1828-11-05

Wednesday. 5th.

I saw none of the family this morning before I left the City.1 Perhaps this is my last visit, and I look back upon scenes which convey to me the only associations of entire happiness which it has been my lot to meet with as yet in this world. Here my careless days have been passed when I have not felt that I had any cause for exertion and when futurity was not to me as it now is a source of dread. Although this last visit has not been like the former ones, it has still brought up to me many moments of happiness. The kindness of my Mother has compensated to me for many things. In her I have always had a friend, and although she could not feel entirely as I do, she could still produce a strong influence in soothing my moments of gloom.
Our passage to Baltimore was not remarkable for any thing. The day was lovely and the passengers in the Stage pleasant enough excepting that they were a little too much disposed to the discussion of political matter. We arrived at Baltimore in time for the Steam Boat and I launched off immediately to Philadelphia. I met on board Mr. Armstrong with whom I had been slightly acquainted formerly. He is going to Lima as a Commercial Agent.2 He introduced me to Lieut. Macauley of the Marine Corps,3 and we travelled during a rainy night in Company.
{ 304 }
1. Angry with JQA over financial matters, CFA deliberately avoided saying goodbye to his father, who was “cruelly disappointed” (LCA to CFA, 9 Nov. 1828, Adams Papers).
2. Andrew Armstrong, of Pennsylvania, formerly the United States commercial agent at Port-au-Prince (Force, National Calendar, 1828, p. 101).
3. James McCawley, of Pennsylvania (same, p. 230).