Morning cloudy and dark. I remained at the House reading the North American Review.
Nothing remarkable. Mrs. Everett and Miss Phillips came from Winter Hill to dine and
Henry Brooks got home to day. Gorham, his brother, took leave. He marries Ellen Shepherd
tomorrow and departs for Europe. I am not sorry that he goes. His manner to me has
always been cold even to incivility, and though I feel too independent of him to trouble
myself about it, yet whenever I have met him, it has created an awkwardness on my
part which was not comfortable. How terrible it is to dance attendance upon the whims
of other people. If my own spirits and confidence in myself were only firm, I could
resist it more proudly. But on this point my spirits are rather low, particularly
at this time.
Afternoon. Took a walk to the Lock and Aqueduct over Symmes River or Creek. It was
pleasant enough and I saw the piece of Stone work which is certainly large and solid.
It does credit to the perseverance of the Company. Passed the remainder of the day
with Abby but somehow or other it was not one of our congenial days. She was not affectionate
and so this in the result made me cold and dispirited. I wanted affection much and
I found it not.