[dateline] Sunday Janry 3. 1784
[salute] My dearest Friend
I have already written you 3 Letters, which have been waiting a long time for a passage;
1 they will now all go in one ship, provided I can get this to Town to morrow; tho
She was ordered for sailing to day, yet I trust to the delay which vessels usually
have.
Last evening I received a packet of Letters from Nabby who has been in Town a month;
inclosing Your Letters by Mr. Robbins,
2 who arrived in a passage of 33 days only. By him, I was happy to hear you were well
when he left you, but alass! you know not the anxiety I suffer upon account of your
Health, or how often my Heart is overwhelmed, with the Idea that I never shall see
you more.
I cannot without terrour, think of your going to reside at the Hague, indeed you cannot
live in that country, and you have repeatedly told me so. Why then will you risk a
Life invaluably dear to me; and for the comfort and enjoyment of which, there is no
earthly pleasure, I would not willingly relinquish; and it is the apprehension which
I have for your precarious Health, and the hope that by a watchfull attention I may
be able to preserve it, that leads me to seriously to think of quitting all my Friends
and my dear Boys, to cross the ocean, coward as I am; without Husband or son to protect
{ 291 } or support me; it is one thing to encounter dangers or difficulties with you; and
an other without you.
Why with a Heart Susceptable of every tender impression, and feelingly alive, have
I So often been called to Stand alone and support myself through Scenes which have
almost torn it assunder, not I fear, because I have more resolution or fortitude than
others, for my resolution often fails me; and my fortitude wavers.
As my own judgment, and the advice of my Friends, will prevent my comeing out this
winter, I shall by spring know the determinations of congress with respect to your
situation, and in some measure be governed by them.
Your Daughter writes me thus, “this mor'g I was agreeably Surprized by the sight of
Mr. Robbins, who came with Letters from Pappa and my Brother. You will see that I
have taken the liberty to open them, which I hope your own feelings will lead you
to excuse. I find my dear Pappa has again been sick with a severe fever. O Mamma what
have we not to fear from his continuance abroad in climates so enemical to his Health?
I shudder at the thought, and wish he could be prevailed upon to consider his danger.”
“I know perfectly well how I should act with regard to Pappas requests, were I exatly
in your situation, tho I own, I now dread the result. Yet my duty, and my fears for
the critical state of his Health, operate so powerfully upon my mind being never absent
from my thoughts, that I would rather influence than dissuade you from going.”
3
In concequence of your last Letters I shall immediately set about putting all our
affairs in such a train as that I may be able to leave them in the spring; you have
written to me with Regard to Mr. Alleynes Farm, during the war he talked of selling;
but I have heard nothing of it of late. I will have him sounded, and if he should
sell, leave it in charge with some Friend to purchase if you can; the land you mention
belonging to Col. Quincy I know he wants to sell. Mr. Tyler applied to him for it
tho not very pressingly, before he purchased Mrs. Borelands Farm, but the Col. had
got such wild notions of foreigners of fortune comeing over to settle here, and the
high value of Land, that there was no reason in him; but after he heard that Mrs.
Boreland had sold her Farm, of which he had then no Idea, he was shagreen'd that he
did not sell it, and has since offerd it to him, but he asked 26 pound pr acre. I
will take the opinion of your Brother and one or two others, of the real value of
it; and make him an offer, through some Friend, for if he should suspect that you
wanted it, he
{ 292 } would immediately suppose that it was because you knew of gentlemen of fortunes comeing
over, and supposed land would run very high near Boston.
There is a method of laying out money to more advantage than by the purchase of land's,
which a Friend of mine advised me to, for it is now become a regular merchandize.
Dr. T
[uft]s has sold a Farm with a design of vesting it in this manner, viz in State Notes.
Provision is now made for the anual payment of Interest, and the Notes have all been
consolidated. Foreigners and monied Men have, and are purchaseing them at 7 shillings
upon the pound, 6 and 8 pence they have been sold at. I have mentiond to you that
I have a hundred pounds sterling in the hands of a Friend, I was thinking of adding
the 50 you sent me, and purchaseing 600 pounds L M in state Notes provided I can get
them at 7 shillings or 6 and 8 pence. This would yeald me an anual interest of 36
pounds subject to no taxes:
4 and be some thing to leave in the hand of a Friend for the support of our Sons.
If I should do this I shall have occasion to draw upon you, tho not for any large
sum. I wish you would put me in a way to have my Bills answerd in London, as those
will sell above par.
If I come out in the Spring I hope to prevail with Dr. Tufts to take under his patronage
our little cottage and Farm. The care of our two sons I will leave in charge with
my two Sisters, but as they reside at Haverhill, it will chiefly devolve upon Mrs.
Shaw. To Mr. Shaw I shall leave the trust of the Medford estate which was left jointly
between my sister and me.
5 It will be his interest to take the best care of it, and to make such arrangements
from time to time as he may find necessary. I shall direct him to receive my part
of the Rent, as part pay for the schooling of the children. Forgive me if I sometimes
use the singular instead of the plural, alass I have been too much necessitated to
it. Mr. Pratt our old tenant still lives upon the Farm. If he continues here it will
be necessary to come into new conditions with him.
Your account Books I put six months ago; into the hands of Mr. Tyler, that the whole
might not be lost, by insolvent debtors and Refugee Tories as a great part already
is. He is in a way to get them adjusted; some little money he has received, many of
the accounts he has got into Notes of Hand, which if sued will not admit of dispute
as accounts do.
6 Many persons very barefacedly deny their accounts. This is not so much to be wonderd
at, when they can totally forget Notes of Hand. The Sloans Bond I sued, and got some
land under
{ 293 } mortgage which I put upon record.
7 I have some thoughts of selling at vendue part of the house furniture, as I suppose
I could purchase new for what this would fetch. With regard to cloathing, there will
be no occasion of my taking more than a change. I could wish to receive any particular
directions which you may think proper to give before I embark.
To my uncle Smith I shall apply to look me out a proper vessel captain &c.
My Neice I must send to her Mother. She mourns sadly at the thoughts of my going.
I must seem nearer to her than her own Parent, as she has lived 6 years with me, and
has little remembrance of any thing before she came to me. She has been as earnest
to know the result of every letter from you as if her life depended upon it. I have
promised with your consent; that if I live to return she shall come again to me; but
I fear that I can no more live in Holland than you; tis a climate no way suited to
Rheumatick complaints, of which I have had a larger share than I have for many winters
before, and I am so subject to a nervious pain in my head that I think my own Health
in a precarious situation. Adieu, ever, ever Yours
Love to my son. I have written him by this vessel.
8