Diary of John Quincy Adams, volume 1
1786-02-04
Dined at Mr. Osgood's in a large Company. 16 persons, at table. Mr. Larieu, a frenchman,
and Mr. W. Greenleaf, were the only, that I was not before acquainted with. Mr. Larieu has
been very unfortunate in losing almost all his Estate, by the failure of Mr. Fessenden, in
this Town. Drank tea at Mr. White's, where, Eliza pass'd the Day. In the Evening I was
conversing my aunt, upon the subject of Courtship, and that of
Self love. Mr. Shaw was present when I said I thought, Self, was the ultimate motive of all actions, good, bad, or indifferent. He opposed
the idea, and as I persisted in my opinion, he said he thought it a little Strange, that at
19 a youth should make such positive decisions, in opposition, to persons much older, than
myself. I believe in answer I shew, too much warmth, as his charge was partly true. I fear I
am too tenacious of many of my opinions, and what in itself is nothing, but as to the effect
it has on mankind, is all; I still own, that I have not altered them, even after hearing
them Reason upon the subject; unless I have really been convinced. It has made persons
suppose I was obstinate, and dogmatical, and pedantic, as Mr.
Shaw expressed himself, when if my heart deceives me not, I only wish to acquire
information, and own my thoughts, without ever having an Idea, to wish other persons might
adopt my Sentiments; it is not unpolite to think differently from a person older than
yourself, but the unpoliteness lies in combatting his opinions. I wish to be more fully
Sensible of this maxim, at times, when it is necessary to put it in practice. Reverence for
age, is one of the most important and necessary qualities, a young man can have: and a
deference to their sentiments, ought, apparently to be shown, even although, they were
absurd and ridiculous. N.B. To think more upon this Subject.