Diary of Charles Francis Adams, volume 1

Friday. August 20th. VIII:30.

Sunday. August 22d. VIII.

Saturday. August 21st. VIII. CFA


Saturday. August 21st. VIII. CFA
Saturday. August 21st. VIII.

Missed Prayers this morning, arose, feeling again restored to strength. Found myself on the eve of being deserted or nearly so. Chapman went this morning and all the rest of my acquaintance except Rundlet and Lothrop will be gone before night so I concluded to make my exit for the present. I spent the morning, some part of it at least, reading Redgauntlet which in the commencement of the second volume becomes rather uninteresting. I read three chapters and closed the book without much regret. I then went home and arranged my room as well as possible. I read a few of Pope’s letters and dined. I wrote a letter also to John, which was of some importance as it was of a serious character and in answer to one of a very serious character which I received on Thursday morning.1 There is something going on at Washington to the bottom of which I cannot see. And I receive dark and mysterious hints about the matter in every letter upon the subject of family affairs. George is concerned and, for all I know John, but it is very certain that I have no connection with the matter. I have suffered too much already. John writes with a little bitterness and my Mother with considerable and I am doomed not to know the reason why.2

After dinner I waited for the Stage two hours and was driven to the conclusion that it had left me. Consequently I was obliged to walk into town, which I did for the first time in my Junior Year, in the course of which, I have also walked out here once. I arrived at my brother’s just in time to gain the stage for Quincy. George announced to me that my father was to be off on Tuesday, consequently I shall be obliged to detain my letter to John, for which I am sorry as I might have done some good by it, and I might have prevented some mis-297understandings which are the perpetual trouble of our house. I see darkness and trouble in futurity and only wish to God time would disclose the worst and that shortly. I wish only the interval of one year and the power of making up my mind to exertion.

I came out to Quincy in the Stage with George, found the family all well and Grandfather in pretty good spirits. After supper I had some important conversation with my brother, and as I deemed it my duty, I disclosed to him what I supposed to be the case at home in order to make him, if he will, know his situation. We sat up long but fatigue at last reminded us of XII.


Both letters missing.


The difficulty in the Adams household presumably was caused by Mary C. Hellen, who was transferring her affections from her betrothed, GWA, to JA2. See entry for 6 Sept., below.