Adams Family Correspondence, volume 4
1781-03-17
It was not till the last week in Febry. that your favour of Janry. 8th reachd me. I had
waited the arrival of each post with impatience but was so repeatedly dissapointed that I
almost gave up my correspondent even in the way of Friendship. I struck up of1 the list of Galantry some time ago. It is a character in my mind
very unbefitting a senator notwithstanding the Authority of Chesterfeild against me, yet the
Stile of some Letters obliged me to balance a long time and study by detail the character I
was scrutinizing. I wished to divest myself for the time of a partiality which I found
predominant in my Heart, yet give to every virtue its due weight. I wished for once, for a few
moments and 3 hundred miles distance observe, to consider myself in the nearest connexion
possible, and then try the force of certain Epethets addressed to a Lady—we will suppose her
for Arguments sake amiable, agreable and his Friend. I found from trial that those Epethets
only would bear Lovely, to charming, they touchd too too sensibly the fine tuned instrument and
produced a discord where Harmony alone should subsist. What right has she who is appropriated
to appear Lovely or charming in any Eyes but his whose property she is?2 I am pursuaded says a Lady who had seen much of the world, that a
woman who is determined to place her happiness in her Husbands affections should abandon the
extravagant desire of engageing publick adoration, and that a Husband who tenderly loves his wife should in his turn give up the reputation of being
a Gallant. However antiquated and unpolite these Ideas may appear to our Modern refiners, I
can join with Juba in the play “by Heavens I had rather have that best of Friends approve my
deeds than Worlds for my admirers.”3
A particular reason has led me to wish the Man whose Soul is Benevolence itself flowing out
in these exuberances would more circumspectly guard a pen.—A Captured Letter, not to Portia
thank fortune, but to his Friend G
I had many things in mind to say to you in the political way when I took up my pen, but will defer them for the subject of an other Letter or untill you tell me that you have received this in that Spirit of Friendship with which it flowed from the pen of
Thus in MS. AA probably meant to write: “struck him off.”
The reasons impelling AA at this juncture “to balance a long time and study by
detail” the propriety of the language Lovell had employed in his letter of 8 Jan. (above) and, generally, in other letters he
had written her, are discussed in note 4 below.
In the present passage, written in some agitation, she is saying that “Epethets” like amiable and agreeable addressed to a
lovely and charming are not. They
smack too much of the Chesterfieldian code of “Galantry,” which she rejects.
Initial quotation mark supplied. AA is quoting, a little inaccurately, from
Addison's Cato (1713), Act II, scene v, lines 144–145.
AA's concern and admonitions as expressed in this letter sprang from two
different but related causes. Lovell in his correspondence with her habitually indulged in a
queer sort of gallantry, imitative of Laurence Sterne's writings, which she in turn indulged
him in without protest and thus apparently found acceptable. However, in his letter of 8 Jan., which she found indiscreet (see note 2 above), he spoke of her as one of the “most
lovely of the Loveliest Sex,” and at the same time blandly mentioned that recent letters of
his, including one to her (dated 21 Nov. 1780, not found), had fallen into the hands of
“Jemmy Rivington,” the tory newspaper printer in New York. This naturally suggested to her
that the combination of what she here calls Lovell's “exuberances” and the increasingly
frequent British interception of American mails made her reputation more vulnerable than was
pleasant to contemplate. Six weeks or so elapsed between Lovell's writing his letter of 8 Jan. and her receipt of it in late February, and
meanwhile AA learned that Rivington and other loyalist printers had published one or more of Lovell's private letters, specifically
one to Elbridge Gerry, 20 Nov. 1780, containing enough indiscretions to excite talk in
Boston. Though she had not seen the paper or papers in question, she was bound to wonder what
further epistolary indiscretions her correspondent might have committed and she was still to
hear about. Waiting for several weeks, and still without sight of what Rivington had printed,
AA here phrased her multiple rebukes to Lovell with care and tact. In a letter
of 10 May, below (and perhaps in others
intervening but not found), and still not having seen the
offending letter to Gerry, AA renewed her “Stricktures” on Lovell's conduct in
severe terms; see the notes and references there.
1781-03-19
It was only an hour ago that I was informd of a vessel just ready to sail for Amsterdam; by forgetfullness in the Messenger I have so short warning as to be able to write you only a few lines, yet a few is more than have come to my hand for six months, in all which space only a few lines written last May have reachd me. The Mars arrived the beginning of this Month after a very long passage, but brought me only Letters from Mr. Thaxter written before he left Paris. By a Letter from Mr. Dana to his Lady I find you were all well in November, yet wonder I should not hear so from your own hand.
Jones too has arrived at Phili—pia but brought no Letters for me. I have just heard of the
loss
When I received them, which was as soon as possible after his arrival, they were the cheif
of them so wet and mildewed as I never saw any Goods before and this was the fate of his cargo
except what was in his own Cabin. I am almost affraid to tell you, least you should be
discouraged from trying again, that my Trunk at Philadelphia was in as bad or worse State, by
Mr. L
The Fate of the Southern States is balanceing between Green and Cornwallis. The late
Successes of General Morgan in Carolina and at Gorgia have occasioned the British Army to
collect all t
By the loss of one British ship from New York of 74 Guns and the damage of two others, the Capture of the Romulus by the French, the British were so weakned as to induce the Fleet of our Allies to plan an expedition to the Southward in order to give assistance to the American Arms in that Quarter. Two days after they sailed, all the British ships followed, even the disabled one with jury Masts, which shews their weakness. The French took their troops with them and Road Island is now guarded by American millitia. The infamous Arnold by the last accounts was like to fall into the Hands of the justly incensed Americans. Such is our present anxious state.
We have recent accounts of an attack upon Eustatia by the Mad Britains and of a Declaration of war by the united provinces. The Insolence of Sir Joseph York was an abusive declaration of the British.
Excuse haste written late in the Evening. I long to hear from you.
95When O! when will the time come. God Grant me happy tidings. My Love to my dear Sons, from whom I have not received a line for nine months.
Here and below, MS is torn by seal.
A mistake for October; see AA to JA, 8, 15 Oct. 1780, above.