Day rainy, passed in reading and occasional conversation with my father. Nothing remarkable.

I should have gone to Boston yesterday to comply with an engagement made to Richardson to go to Nahant, but trusting that he would not think of taking a step in such weather, I postponed it until today when I went merely to discover that he had been. It was on the whole a fortunate escape for it was pouring torrents when I got into the Stage to return to Quincy after a very highly stupid day. Arrived safely without incident.

Morning devoted quietly to reading. Dined at Genl. Dearborn’s at Roxbury whither I went with my father. A large Company. Mr. Everett, Gorham,1 the two Harrises,2 Col. Baldwin,3 Capt. and Mrs. Bainbridge, Capt. Morris, and Chauncy, Mr. Fuller,4 Mr. Child,5 and a number of the Custom House Officers. I fell in among these much to my regret as they were dull and unprofitable companions. The returning ride was cold and chilly.

On this day I enter upon my twenty first year. Moments are now passing which are to give the direction which my fate will take. My own mind is full of doubts and fears and troubles; these give me anxiety and pain in the midst of prospects as brilliant as have fallen to the share of any individual. The result is in the hands of the almighty, and to him I look believing and hoping and confiding all things.

The morning had been allotted to a fishing excursion with a party consisting of the Quincy gentlemen and ladies. Mr. Quincy, his wife, son and two of his daughters. Mr. Miller and his wife, Messrs. Thomas and Daniel Greenleaf and the two daughters of the first,1 together with the Parson’s family2 and some others. We were long in getting out and caught no fish. The party afforded me but little pleasure, and that little was received from Edmund Quincy, but I dislike his family. We reached home in good season, fatigued and burnt. My father was quite unwell.