Boston Decr. 22 1757 Sr.,

I recd. yours & was not a little Surprized to find how great a fire so little a Spark had kindled. I little thought to have run foul of a Ladys Petticoat & traced the Metempsycosis of that decent Cov'ring to its first Original so many Stages back, had I suspected to what Period the Camblet was arrived I should never have gone in quest of it well knowing there's no Redemption from that impregnible Castle & that it is the general Assylum of all those who can find no Peace out of it. But Seing I have Started the Hare I'm determin'd to persue it to its burrough & hope by the kind assistance you offer me to dig him out of its hole. & first I can but take Notice of the peculiar fate of this poor Camblet. Alass it shews us how every thing leads to decay in this state of being. It is now got down as far as a Petticoat you say, & if we argue from the Nature of things and persue it on in the same channel we shall next find it reduced to a mop & naild to a staff part of it appropriated to clean Candlesticks & another part still to stop a hole in the Window till by degrees it gets Scattered on the Earth & soon transmutes to excellent Manure. This then I call the last Stage of it, & from it will begin rise again & push forward into being, & first we shall have it in Grain thence converted into a human body & finally into a buxom Lass, & now being thus reinstated in being Methinks I hear the new modelled Camblet giving a Succinct Accot. of its various adventures thro' the several states of its existence, & first it lay unheeded for a while admist a variety of Goods, till by some Unknown Fate 'twas swap'd away for Cordwood. Here then I was tousled into an odd Mortals Portmanteau & Jolted away I could not tell where till finally after a variety of Adventures on the Road I found myself in a most awkard part of the Creation call'd the Harbour. Here I presently found was my destination for twas not long before I fell into the hands of a most unmerciful Jade that cut me Limb from Limb & worked me up into the shape of of of the Dee'l know wt. unless it was a Woman. Here64indeed for a while I was caressed & waited upon to select company & to meetings; but over a while as soon as the first novelty was over I was used with much roughness & put to great hardships till tired with labours I hoped my decaying Constitution would prevail for my liberty but to my great Surprize I no sooner began to expect a deliverance but 1 was with great barbarity turn'd upside down, inside out, All the holes stopt & made a new one off. Looke ye cry'd the Jade calld a Taylor twill do mighty Scrumtious wont it. Here then I had a task before me of I knew not what. I was for a while advanc'd to a little good Company but then very soon reduced to a perfect drudge & made the Butt & stand by of every Greezy employment. There was no soap making, Washing, candlemaking, Bed making, Sausauge making, Greesing Wool Carding, fixing the Dye Pot, Nor even emptying the tother Pot without poor Pill1 Garlick. Well in this State I gave myself up for gone. 'Twould be in vain to tell how often I was touzled on the hay, how often I was lain in & how often Staind with the green grass, till after innumerable such like abuses the Caprice of my Mistress took An Unexpected turn for lo! I was rip'd all to peices scrubd & scoured most amazingly then Sew'd together in a peculiar Manner & Straind into a frame. I was suddenly Surrounded by a parcel of gigling Girls who Stick'd me heartily from End to End, forward & backward, through & through, criss cross & every way they could think off. This I overheard one of them say was emblematical of my future Use. The torment I underwent would have been Unsufferable were it not for the incessant tittle Tattle of my Tormenters which raised my Curiousity to explore the meaning of their half dropt misterious expression. When this process was over I was immediately made into a Strang machine, bound top & bottom & piced out with a variety of convenencys & calld a Petticoat. At first I was not a little pleased with my Station for I found I was mightily caressed & advanced to a higher station than the former One. However upon More Experience I altered my Mind for I found many inconvencys which I have not time to mention. In short the Climate did not Suit my Constitution & in a little time throughly Spoild the Sweetness of my blood. But Notwithstanding I was thus impaired in Health I found my self subjected to hardships which till now I knew nothing off. In my former Station 'twas but seldom I was broke of my rest but now 'twas but seldom I got a throughso Nights repose. I seem'd now destin'd for a defence & a bullwark to invaded territory. There was frequently close seiges laid & poor I Suffered many a flogging between the contending Partys65Sometime Pulld & hald as tho' I should be drag'd Limb from Limb then Again Jam'd & crouded into a heap? as tho' all my bones would be dislocated & frequently Suffocated & roasted by the enraged heat form within & without. Whether I finally proved faithfull in this My Post you'll excuse my telling you. This exceeding hard Usage made many Breeches in me wch. exposed me to fresh Torture & rendred my life a perfect burden to me especially when by great decays I was become a harbour to a very troublesome brisk Saucy Animal, not only fleas but Sweethearts who finding many great decays in the bulwark would soon have gotten possession of the desired territory had I not been dismissed from my Post & supply'd by Another. Thus dismisd without any thanks part of me was soon pulld of Naild to a Staff. Here I found my degree was still more degraded for tho' I did not collect more greeze than I did in the last state yet I did it more professedly, indeed my business was analagous in one respect to the former & that was to keep off invaders for I was frequently laid about the face & Eyes of those who attempted Matters at an undue time & place. Thus alternately was I used to scour a floor & scrub the face of a Fisherman. Part of me was put to other like uses, and the remainder lay in a Corner till it had hatched the Eggs with which it was impregnated & became a Nest of Moths. Thence it was drag'd forth in a cold Winter's Night to stop a hole in the Window which Roger had broke in giving a Signal to Prue. Thus by degrees I mouldered to dirt & in process of time got forth on the Earth where Nature that lets nothing lay dead ushered me forward into choice wheat which being ground & by the good Matrons make into a growing Cake my father & Mother eat with uncommon Relish & tho very old took a hint from the Occasion & produced me, & thank my starrs Now I have been thro' so many Scenes, I have learnd never to trust a petticoat so near me but to put them quite out of the way upon such Occasions, here Ended the Girl. & tho' I must acknowledge the last part is but prophetical yet I think it is Natural Comparing it with the former part, but as yet the Camblet has got no further than the petticoat. Whether this generation will see the Lass I cant tell. I engage they will the moths, but to conclude this matter I do not thouroughly Understand yr. doctrine of Reprisals for it being in Possession I cannot avoid a tresspass in taking it unless you by the help of yr. peeping will take an opportunity when it lays Seperate & bring it off & then if you should fail in proving the Property you may be made to pay for peeping for if once you get entangled with a Petticoat by hook or by Crook they'll66bring you for the Reckning. Therefore my Advice is to have recorse to Mr. Tilly & if it be paid well & good & the Coat may rest in quiet.

Dft ; endorsed: "From & to E: Barr. on a Petticoat Metamorphiz'd." Appended to Ezekiel Barker's letter to RTP of Nov. 18, 1757.

1.

A pil-garlic was "one avoided and forsaken by his fellows. Garlic was a prime specific for leprosy, so that garlic and leprosy became inseperably associated. As lepers had to pil or peel their own garlic, they were nick-named pil-garlics, and any one who was shunned like a leper was called so likewise" (E. Cobham Brewer, Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, 14th edn. [London, n.d.], 687).