Octr. 26. 1757 Dear Sr.,

I very unexpectedly recd. yours but was sorely disappointed to find the specious parade of yr. Epistle End in a question about Matrimony. It appears plain to me that tho' the Law is a subject you are more acquainted with than with Any other, yet tis but an Instrument by wch. you consider the most agreable Subjects, Rather than a Subject itself. Thus the painter uses his Art to portray his beautiful Mistress, thus the Logician may talk bawdy in Syllogism, & thus you consider Matrimony as a point of Law wch. once was the Subject of yr. softer muse. But as I suspect you are interested in this Quest: being dispos'd to taste the Sweets without the encumbrance of that state I shall therefore consider yr. Question with more gravity. & 1st, by Marriage in Reputation I suppose you mean, One that does not comply with the Law of Marriages; if so the Question may possibly be local. In England I so suppose any couple within their famous Act can reap no benefit from their marriage if it does not comply; but those that are not within that Act I do suppose may provided it be really a marriage i.e. there be proof of Mutual promisses & subsequent Correspondt. behaviour, for I dont suppose that Whore & Rogue can claim it. If then there be Mutual Promises &c., as I suppose to be the Case with the Quakers, it does not appear even to me why the Estates of Dower & Curtesy should not arise from it, & I think that the late seen Act respecting marriages at home (wch. indeed I am but Slightly acquainted with) seems to suppose that reputed marriages are attended with that privilidge & therefore has prescrib'd a rigid method wch. if swerved from subjects the Parson to a heavy fine &c., & the marriage nul & void. Now it is known that former Acts have laid fines on a Parson marrying contrary to certain Injunctions, yet still the marriage was good & consequently must draw the Priviledges. I take that to be but a reputed marriage in as much as it is not upheld by the Law, seing the Law is broke in the doing it. As suppose it be after the hour appointed, the Parson is liable &c. Yet the Rite takes place id quod fieri non debet.1 Much stronger is the Instance of Marriage in the Fleet2 which as far as I understand them were mere show performances by Imposters in Pontificalia & at unlawfull hours & could amt. to no more than a Mutual Promise before common witness, but I never heard of such a marriage being void ipso facto, so that the Quest depends on regulating Acts. In England57it must now be Served; with us perhaps not, & least of all with you where so great a Body of the People marry in that way & thereby establish the Law; but I can't look on that as a reputed Marriage where there is no proof of Mutual Promises.

Dft ; written on the second leaf of James Brenton's letter to RTP of Oct. 23, 1757.

1.

That which ought not to be done.

2.

Fleet Prison, London, England, where clandestine marriages without the usually required banns took place until outlawed by Lord Hardwicke's Act, 1753 (John Ashton, The Fleet: In River; Prison and Marriages [London, 1888]).

After October 1757? Sir,

I cant Enough commend the Resolution you have once and again utter'd in my hearing never to Marry a Woman of Sense as this resolution you averr proceeds from the generosity of your Nature and not from any Disesteem of Sense or chiefly from a fear of any Bad Effects you might suffer yourself Tho' you honestly own that has some weight with you. For this generosity This honesty I equally aplaud you.

But permit me as a Friend to drop one gentil hint. I cant but suspect your Resolution is built on too slight a Basis to Stand the Test. Examine if you please what are the quallities in a person that Excites your Esteem & attracts your affection. Is it Reason Judgement Penetration knowledg &c., or is it meer Flesh the Rosy Cheek the Sparkling Eye the Ruby Lips the Fine Complexition the agreable Shape. Or is it the Genteel air the pretty movement the Gracefull Step. If on a critical search you find tis the Former viz. Intellectual Endowments believe me you will one day find your Resolution fail & comence suiter to some Fair posseser of those amiable Qualities—in which I shall most heartily wish you Success.

But If you find tis the Latter I cant find in my heart to which you such an Evil as the gratification of your own Taste would be and therefore send the Enclosed & recommend it as a partner that tho it cant do you so much good as a Woman of Sense may Neither can it do so much hurt as a Woman without Sense Will. I am Sr.,

Your Friend and well wisher.

RC ; endorsed: "from & to Lavinia." RTP wrote a draft of his reply on the verso of her letter and continued on an attached sheet. See below.

After October 1757?

My Gentle Adviser, Were I to judge from yr. Correctness of Stile, from the strength of Thought, the Poignancy of Expression & the Consistency of yr. Whole Epistle I must accost you as some Masculine Freind, but wn. I observe the engaging delicacy with which it is cloath'd I am no longer at a loss to address you as some rational soul of the finer sex, at once I feel the Reason of Philosopher & the tenderness of a Lady, but Madam permit me to tell you that Philosophers may reason from rong principles & a Lady's tenderness may be ill apply'd. You take it for granted I can Esteem a Lady only for two Reasons either for her knowledge Judgmt. Penetration &c., by wch. I understand the Accomplishmt. of her Mind, or else her Beauty, Mein Shape &c., wch. tho' you have discribd in such tempting Language are still but fading Ornaments. But pardon me if I tell you there are Other Accomplishments which you have not mentiond fairly worth the rest, some of wch. tho' Not Needful in a Philosopher are Necessary in a Wife & those are Good Œconimy, discretion, & benificence. I think your discription includes Neither of these. You call them Intellectual Endowments, mear mental accomplishments wch. as such do not imply an application of them to the affairs of Life. These Mental Accomplishments well become a life of retiremt. devoted to Corntemplation, But the Lady that would beat the Stormy Seas of Matrimony must be well versed in the Arts as well as the Science must be able to preserve the Ship of Stress of Weather to spread the proper Sails to favourable Breeze & make allowance for Leway in a head Wind. She must Suit her Conduct to a 1,000 Circumstances that the Philosopher knows nothing off. Wt. comfort is it that my Wife can reason like Seneca over an ill provided dinner or quote Diogenes for the dirtyness of her house. The Woman was made for a help Meet i:e to do those offices the Man cannot but if she intrudes into the Province of the Man she has more need of a Wife than she is fit to be one. I conceive therefore her essential Qualifications must be 1st. Œcomimy which implys a well regulated frugality well directed Industry & universal Neatness. Next is Discretion Under wch. I rank that Circumspect Behaviour which is requisite to prevent ill rumours from abroad or Jelosies at home. The last is that wch. sweetens all & makes it a Wife. Benificence wch. convinces a Man that all is done for him, Benificence wch. consults every desire wch. prevents59every Want, Beneficence wch. almost Justifys her Errors & Deify's her good Action, Beneficence wch. tho it terminates in her husband yet regulated by the other virtues flows forth to all the Objects of Pity: & now may not a Lady be possess'd of these qualitys without that strength of Reason Judgmt. Penetration &c., you discribe. If she has Sufficient for this I think her richly endow'd tho' she reads no book but her Bible. Strength of reason &c., will most commonly breed difference of sentiments that Moth to Matrimonial Peace, & of consequence by how much Stronger the Powers of the Mind by so much greater the Evil. But if ever Judgment &c. be wanted, & O is it not wantd it is in the Education of Children that Maternal Blessing wch. is better than any Patrimony, their tender Minds are capable of Impression of acquiring Any Habits, the first seeds take root the deepest, & who can discribe the depravity we derive from our tender Mothers, to watch the Op'ning Genius, to tend the budding Virtues, to crop the sprouting Vice. Here let me pause. If for anything I would hazard the qualitys I have discrib'd 'tis for this. But is it inconsistent with them or is it not rather connected with & dependent upon them; I do not apprehend there is any Occasion for a Philosophical Brain or a smart turn of Wit. Language & the Sciences are if ever the business of riper Years, 'tis Sufficient for the Mother to teach it plain English & common Sence, wch. Discretion implyes, the first seeds of frugality, Industry & Beneficence on all Occasions inculcated upon must be recommended to them. This will prevent all Idle corrupting expence, that Indolence & humoursome disposition & that revengfull Malicious Temper which is so almost Universally inculcated upon Children, even by Weomen of the greatest pretensions to Knowledge. Is it any comfort to me that my Ofspring are rendred Babboons by a woman of fine sence. Tis Truth a Universal Love of Truth must be first instilld & forster'd to be debauc'd with no delusions wch. if recovered render even Falshood sacred & break thro' all Restraints to esteem Truth, without wch. there can be no Virtue & with it no Vice, plain common Truth wch. calls in no penetration or close reasoning to its assistance, wch. a Woman of Comon Sence is qualified to teach & wch. a Woman of exalted Sence may think beneath her attention. Thus I have told you wt. it is that engages my Esteem & allmost my affection Vizt. a Qualification for & a dispositon to perform all the Dutys relative to our Station in Life. Wn. these are fixt, many accomplishments may fall in by way of Ornament & the first I should choose would be a good Singer rather than a Woman60of Contemplation. That is a profitable rational Amusemt. The latter is the cause of Woe & should never be indulg'd by Any whose Bodys are as liable to great fatigues or changes. To conclude, permit me Madam to point out another Mistake in yr. masoning But wt. avails it wt. are my opinions of these matters. Would you dispute a Christian doctrine with one who denys his Bible. Why then do you Examine my sentiments wch. are but mere Theory. I do but say wt. I would choose in a certain Circumstance without hinting I ever intend to be in it, tho' I must observe to you tis but this minute I Understand the Conclusion of Letter. The Little Miss you sent enclos'd like the gen'rallity of her sex which you sent her to represent being very coy as well as silly so artfully evad'd my Sight that she was balk'd in her expectation of my following her. But as soon as she discovered her self I could but take Notice how exactly she was in Miniature What we dayly see at full length. But really you have left me no room for Satyre having said of her that shes the only woman that will do me no hurt.

Dft ; endorsed: "from & to Lavinia" followed by a brief note in undeciphered code.