Diary of Charles Francis Adams, volume 7

Thursday. 17th.

Saturday. 19th.

Friday 18th. CFA Friday 18th. CFA
Friday 18th.

I am this day thirty years old. Half of the ordinary period of man’s life is gone, and I am as yet somewhat of a drone upon the earth’s surface. My position is one of some delicacy and difficulty. But in looking back over the past year I have much to be thankful for and nothing to repine at. My situation is the same as it was at the outset but I feel that the time has not been entirely wasted either for myself or for others. May a Kind providence still continue to vouchsafe to me and mine evidences of its bounty, such as I do not pretend to merit but will 298endeavour to prove worthy of. Happy as I have been during the first half of my pilgrimage, I look forward with hope and fear to the other.

Went to town in a drizzling mist. At the Office where I wrote to Mr. Hallett a final letter stopping my subscription.1 I have adopted this course as an alternative the most mild towards him and yet sufficient to preserve my consistency. I regret that it has happened because I had been accustomed to regard that press as the most independent and the most friendly to my father of all those in the State, and such is the state of things I can hardly look to any other for support in case of emergency. This is however degenerating so rapidly into a violent ultra radical Administration paper that it might be more productive of harm than good. At any rate, this is a decisive step on my part.

The remainder of my day taken up in commissions tolerably numerous. Then home to dinner. Afternoon, after the usual visit to the house and road, I occupied myself with Humboldt and Lessing. But symptoms of head ach which developed themselves early in the morning became so decided by an early hour of evening that I slipped away from the family and went to bed.

1.

LbC, Adams Papers. The date set by Hallett in his letter of 8 Aug. by which a decision would be reached as to the Advocate’s continuance had passed. Publication was continuing, and no further word from Hallett had been received.